Taking the big step of moving in together? You probably already know that this is a significant new chapter in your relationship and it can be easy to get swept up in the excitement and romance of it all, but first sitting down to discuss some matters might save you both some headaches (or even heartache) in the months to come.
Layout who will handle what household chores
You might think you’re on the same page, and have a good idea of what type of cleanliness you like to have at home–but it’s possible your girlfriend’s been tidying up her apartment before you come over, but most of the time, it’s much less neat. It’ll help things go more smoothly if you discuss and agree that the bathroom should be scrubbed down every few days, for example, rather than assuming that’s what your partner does. You can start the discussion by dividing them up initially by each choosing the tasks you don’t mind doing.
Be respectful of each other’s things when combining households
If you two are shacking up in one of each other’s apartment, rather than moving into a new place, there’s the chance for feelings to get hurt. The person who has the apartment might just assume that their stuff is what you keep since it’s already in the home, but it’s important to remember that some people have attachments to certain things (even items that might seem trivial like a toaster). Here’s when learning to compromise is critical.
Be clear on how living expenses will be split
You might think you and your girlfriend will split the bills down the middle, but if one of you makes more money than the other, doing things proportionate to your income may be a fairer way to split costs. The sharing of expenses becomes more complicated if you own your house or condo — will she pay into the mortgage when she moves in or cover the maintenance costs instead? Financial tensions have been the downfall of many failed relationships so it’s best to be on the same page from the get-go.
