Spoilers for the season six, episode eight of Game of Thrones are below.
Has there ever been an episode where so little actually happened on screen, yet actually happened in the big scheme of things?
Over the last several weeks, we watched the build to several major events and Sunday’s eighth episode felt like it was going to bring closure to some of those angles in brutal, graphic fashion. After all, this is Game of Thrones, where violence solves just about everything and the fine folks at HBO let us watch it all in glorious high definition.
But that’s not really what happened.
Braavos: After watching Lady Crane take Arya’s advice and playing Cersei with some rage and vengeance in her heart, we learn the lead actress in the meta-Game of Thrones stitch up Arya and gives her a place to convalesce. She offers Arya a spot with the troupe, but the injured Stark-ling says she couldn’t remember all the lines.
In need of some sleep and healing time, Lady Crane gives Arya a swig of Milk of the Poppy, which basically sounds like opium tea and a bad idea, given that there is a crazy chick actively hunting Arya.
King’s Landing: The Faith Militant roll into the Red Keep and Lancel – cousin and former lover of Cersei, turned religious zealot – informs Cersei that she has been summoned to Sept by the High Sparrow. Defiant Cersei says she’s not going, which prompts Lancel to lie out two options: come now or there is going to be violence.
“I choose violence.”
The violence doesn’t last long. One poor member of the Faith Militant takes a swing at Franken-Mountain, gets his axe stuck in his armour and then gets choked for his troubles as his friends looks on. And then Franken-Mountain literally rips his head off.
Point: Cersei.
Your move, Faith Militant.
Cersei then moves into the Throne Room, where a big announcement is going to be made, only she’s rebuffed by Uncle Kevan from standing beside King Tommen. Up in the VIP, Cersei listens as her son announces some big changes that will have a direct impact on her future.
King Tommen declares that the having a trial by combat is no longer an option – it’s archaic and violent and outdated and will never happen again. Instead, Cersei and Loras Tyrell will stand trial.
The Queen Mother is shocked and rightfully so – Tommen pretty much just sentenced her to death since no one, understandably, likes Cersei, and the chances of her getting a fair trial is about as good as the odds a goat has roaming the countryside with Drogon flying around nearby.
Riverrun: Brienne and Pod arrive and cast their eyes on the ongoing siege as members of the Lannister Army ride up to them. Brienne requests a meeting with Jaime and once they’re in the camp, we get a couple moments we’ve been waiting for all season.
That scene from the trailer where someone grabs up Pod from behind? It’s Bronn, and he’s basically busting the young squire’s balls about still being a squire and not having shagged Brienne.
In the tent, Brienne and Jaime have their reunion and it’s everything you want it to be – awkward and formal, with an undertone of “there is so much being left unsaid here” as they essentially try to negotiate for Riverrun without involving “The Blackfish.”
Jaime grants Brienne passage into the castle to see if she can convince him to abandon the castle and head north to help Sansa, but the stubborn old man declines, as expected, saying that if Jaime is going to take his ancestral home, he can do it the same way everyone else has over the years – by force.
While Brienne is getting turned down by “The Blackfish,” Jaime has a chat with Edmure Tully, who gets to speak for the first time in a long time and he gest to do so in an outstanding scene that gets to the heart of many characters on this show, not just Jaime, who is Edmure’s partner in this pas de deux, where he asks, “How do you live with yourself?”
Jaime’s answer is perfect, both for his character and likely many others in The Realm, as he basically tells Edmure that all that matters is that he loves Cersei and he’ll do whatever she wants, stopping at nothing. Edmure knows Jaime is being genuine and it leads to the next scene.
Jaime sends Edmure to the gates, knowing he’s the rightful Lord of Riverrun and that the men inside will have to let him in. “The Blackfish” knows it’s a trap, but the men aren’t as savvy as the old codger, so they let Edmure in… and he promptly tells them to lay down their weapons and surrender Riverrun to Jaime and the Freys.
Brienne and Pod try to convince “The Blackfish” to come north one more time, but he declines, preferring instead to die in the castle… and he does. As Brienne and Pod row themselves away, Jaime spots them in the dusk and offers nothing but a wave.
Riverlands: The Hound makes like Jason in Friday the 13th on some random members of the Brotherhood without Banners, driving his axe through them all. He then tracks down the trio that laid waste to Brother Ray and the rest of the happy, free folk last week, but they’ve already been caught by Beric Dondarrion, Thoros of Myr and the rest of the Brotherhood without Banner members we met way back when.
Beric lets The Hound kill two of them, but only by hanging them, and then as the group sits around having dinner and drinks, they try to recruit him into their ranks, echoing Brother Ray’s message that it’s never too late to change your path.
Meereen: Varys leaves on a secret mission, and after the other three members of Queen Dany’s “small council” share drinks and laughs, the slave masters begin attacking the city. Grey Worm and Missandei basically tell Tyrion he screwed up, which he acknowledges, and just as they steady themselves to defend the pyramid from the sound of incoming violence outside.
As they open the door to the inner chamber, swords at the ready, Dany walks in and “The Mother of Dragons” does not look happy about coming home to see her city under siege.
Back in Braavos: The Waif finds Arya, killing Lady Crane and setting off a chase sequence like in Terminator 2 where Arya plays the Edward Furlong role and The Waif is the T-1000, all emotionless and mission oriented.
The exciting dash through the streets cause Arya’s wounds to re-open and the blood trail leads The Waif to her hiding spot, except the hunter has become the hunted. When Arya pulls Needle out from under a blanket, The Waif tells her it won’t help, but then Arya slicks through the candle lighting the room.
After a moment of blackness, we’re inside The House of Black and White, where another blood trail leads Jaqen H’ghar into the room with the faces, where The Waif has joined the collection.
“Finally, a girl is no one,” he says to Arya.
“A girl is Arya Stark of Winterfell – and I’m going home.”
