When it comes to dating apps, there are three types of people: the ones who just want validation and have no intention of ever taking it offline, the ones who are looking for casual hookups, and the ones who are actually looking for something real. The second two (yes, even the hookup-seekers) are probably at least skimming your profile in an attempt to weed out the people they definitely don’t want to waste any time on.
If you’ve been getting matches but it seems like no one ever messages you or bothers to respond to even your most well-thought out openers, it’s probably because of your profile. You might have a good first picture that elicits the impulsive right swipe, but upon further investigation, women are determining that you actually suck and they’d rather talk to one of the many other guys they’ve matched with. Is it fair that people are judging you based on a couple sentences? No. Is that the reality of online dating? Yes. So it’s time to make it work for you or be left behind. If any of these sound like your profile, it’s time to revise—you can do better than this.
You rely on cliches
Cliches are a huge problem in online dating profiles. Saying things like you’re “6’4 in heels”, you’re looking for a “partner in crime” or you “love to laugh and go on adventures” are going to inspire nothing but major eye rolls and an immediate left swipe. Women are just as guilty of using cliches like “live love laugh”, “I’m fluent in sarcasm” and “I like to go out but also stay in” and what do you think when you read those? Not exactly intriguing, is it?
It’s always better to show rather than tell. It’s become cliche to say how much you love to travel, so if you’ve actually been on some cool trips (not just your annual all-inclusive with the bros), post some photo evidence. On the other hand, excessive emojis are a no-no. Having an eggplant emoji in your profile is not going to get you a date, it’s just not.
You write literally nothing
Are you Ryan Gosling? What about Chris Hemsworth? Maybe Michael B. Jordan? If not, then you can’t get away with having no profile whatsoever. In fact, even if you do happen to be as hot as the hottest celebrity du jour, if you write nothing, most girls are going to think you’re fake and/or will never respond to her anyway so she’s just going to swipe left and forget you exist. If you even existed in the first place.
Pictures are a huge part of online dating and you absolutely need good photos if you’re going to have any success. But being able to contribute to a conversation is a million times more appealing to most women and if you’re able to write a compelling enough profile, that’s a promising sign you’ll be able to converse like a normal human, too. You must have something resembling a personality and an interest or two underneath your good looks, so let the ladies in on the big secret!
You sound generic
Listen, it’s 2019 and literally everyone and their grandma loves watching Netflix and eating tacos. If that’s all you can muster up about who you are as a person, it’s no wonder no one is clamouring to go out with you. You might think listing general interests is better for attracting more people, but you’ll actually have better luck if you get specific. Wouldn’t you rather match with someone you’ll actually be able to have a conversation that goes beyond small talk with? Think quality over quantity.
The thing about dating apps is that there are tons of options. Do you really expect to spark the interest of an awesome girl when you sound like a carbon copy of 95% of the other profiles she’s already seen? There’s no way you’re going to appeal to everyone—and you don’t need to. You just need to stand out to the ones you might actually have something in common with.
You’re negative or bitter
We all know online dating, and dating in general, can be a slog. Cat-fishing and ghosting are rampant and all the disappointment can be discouraging after awhile. That being said, there’s nothing to be gained by letting your bitterness show through in your profile. If you think listing all the reasons online dating is the worst and calling out all the cliche, boring and eyeroll-worthy things girls put in their profiles is going to help you get more dates, you’re sadly mistaken.
Don’t waste your precious profile space complaining and whining. It makes you sound like an entitled #niceguy who will probably be miserable to talk to. Is that who you are? If so, maybe you need to be going to therapy more than you need to be online dating.
You can’t spell and/or you’re a liar
This may sound shallow but it’s very real. A dating app profile is no more than a few sentences and if you can’t be bothered to read that over once to make sure there are no typos, what kind of message does that send about you? You’re coming across as lazy, unmotivated, and frankly, kind of dumb. If you don’t trust your spelling or ability to string together a coherent sentence, ask a friend to read it over before you post it. In fact, you should probably do this anyway to make sure your attempt at a clever profile isn’t coming across as cringey.
Another thing that isn’t going to do you any favours is lying about things like your age, height and location. People use filters for a reason—they aren’t interested in someone who is too much older or younger, lives too far away or isn’t quite as tall as they’d like. Even if you tell the truth in your written profile, the fact that you purposely lied to get around the filtering system is a bit too calculated. Everyone is allowed to have their preferences. You might think you’re special enough that women will ignore their dealbreakers for you, but reality check: you’re not. Just tell the truth.
