The importance of texting in our 21st century is well documented. It’s now become the most dominating form of communication. We’ve all grown accustomed to stabbing away on our keypads instead of actually picking up the phone and calling someone. It’s now to the point where people who actually still make phone calls are considered “overbearing” and “old-fashioned.”
Now take the importance of texting and enter it into a relationship. It’s absolutely paramount that you and your partner are on the same page. If not, you run the risk of unnecessary drama and confusion. Irresponsible and incompatible texting can lead to a lot of mixed messages, which can ruin a lot of hopeful relationships before they begin.
So what are these potential sources of conflict?
Delayed responses and not responding altogether
Aziz Ansari has a famous line in one of his stand-up routines where he talks about how the guy interprets it when a girl drops out of a texting conversation: “What, did you put your phone in a locker and go ride a roller coaster for four hours? I know you read that s**t! What’s wrong? Do you not like me anymore?” I think every guy can relate to that. For instance, you’re texting with a girl (your new love interest) and having a magnetic and enthralling discussion, when all of a sudden, without warning, she disappears from the conversation. It’s as if she dropped into some imaginary vortex while your message is left dangling there. This is when the wave of insecurity starts building up: “I knew I shouldn’t have mentioned how much I like that movie”, or, “I can’t believe I actually made that joke… so stupid!” The explanation could be something as simple as she got distracted and forgot to respond. But you’re left there, with no explanation for what happened, which is enough to riddle any secure man with insecurity.
Phone behaviour
Lets face it – we all handle our phone differently. Some of us are glued to our phones like spoilt children and can’t last five minutes without checking social media, while some of us would rather put our phones on silent and lock them in a drawer. So this girl you’re seeing, is her phone a 24/7-palm-possession of hers? Or does she stuff her phone at the bottom of her purse without checking it for hours an end? It might seem like trivial information, but it’ll slowly begin to etch away at your patience when you can’t get a hold of her because she’s lost her fifth phone in a month. Also, is your partner the type to give you the play-by-play of their day? Or would they rather stick to a nightly recap to highlight the main events? Finding someone that’s compatible in these areas is extremely important to communicate with ease.
Message behaviour
Some people have no problem texting lengthy novel responses, while others are notorious for short, robotic replies. If you’re the type of person who loves to blabber away, providing in-depth descriptions, while your partner simply replies with, “K”, or, “Cool” you’ll always feel like you’re carrying the weight of the conversation. Once again, slowly this will turn into a pressure point and source of frustration in your new relationship.
Texting compatibility – to some the whole concept might be ridiculous, but its importance can’t be undermined. Misinterpreted texts can be blown way out of proportion and contribute to fights. It plays a vital role in relationships – to the extent that I’m sure people are beginning to list ‘texting etiquette’ as a redeeming quality they’re looking for in a partner.
It’s the 21st century and we’re amidst a technological revolution, the stakes are much different now. Not only do we have to find someone we love to be around in person, but we also need to find somebody who we love texting with as well.
